On a Scientist's door: Gone Fission
On a Tennessee highway: Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
On an established New Mexico dry cleaning store: Thirty-eight years on the same spot.
On an United Airlines emergency exit row instruction card: If you cannot read this card...
On another Butcher's window: Pleased to meat you.
On the door of a Computer Store: Out for a quick byte.
On the door of a Music Library: Bach in a min-u-et.
On the grounds of a private school in Connecticut: No trespassing without permission.
On the menu of a New Orleans restaurant: Blackened bluefish
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. - Sisters of Mercy
Outside a country shop in West Virginia: We buy junk and sell antiques.
Outside a disco: Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.
Outside a farm: Horse manure, pre-packed bags, $10. Or, do-it-yourself, $1.
Outside a Hotel: Help! We need inn-experienced people.
Outside a muffler shop: No appointment necessary. We heard you coming.
Outside a photographer’s studio: Out to lunch; if not back by five, out for dinner.
Outside a second-hand store: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
Quicksand warning: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
Sign at the psychic's Hotline: Don't call us, we'll call you.
This was seen on a car being towed by a large motor home: I go where I'm towed to.
On a roller coaster: Watch your head.
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