Cat One-Liners

• Can a cat play patty-cake? Pawsibly!
• Can anything be smarter than a cat that can count? Yes, a spelling bee!
• Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
• How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.
• How do you know when your cat has been using your computer? When your mouse has teeth marks on it!
• How do you spell cat backwards? C-A-T-B-A-C-K-W-A-R-D-S!
• How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters? C-A-T!
• How do you stop a ten-pound parrot from talking too much? Buy a twenty-pound cat!
• How is a cat laying down like a coin? Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other!
• How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn't empty.
• What cat purrs more than any other? Purrsians!
• What did one cat say to another? Have you heard the mews today!
• What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese? He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath!
• What do baby cats wear? Dia-purrs!
• What do cats use to make coffee? A purrcolator.
• What do you call a cat that sucks on lemons? A sour puss!
• What do you get if cross a Tomcat with a Pekingese? A Peking Tom!
• What do you use to comb a cat? A catacomb.
• What does a cat do when it gets mad? It has a hissy fit.
• What grade did the cat get on his test? He got a Purrrr-fect score!
• What has more lives than a cat? A frog - it croaks all the time!
• What is a cat's favorite color? Purrrrrrrple!
• What is a cat's favorite movie? "The Sound of Mewsic."
• What is a cat's favorite party game? Mews-ical chairs!
• What sport do cats play? Hairball!
• Who helped Cinderella's cat go to the ball? Her furry godmother!
• Why do you always find the cat in the last place you look? Because you stop looking after you find it.