Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Computer Virus Humor

AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

AL GORE VIRUS - Claims that it is the Internet. Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS v 1.0 - It terminates and stays resident. It'll be back!

COUCH POTATO VIRUS - Just sits there, eating chips all day.

DISNEY VIRUS - Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS v 1.0 - Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

HEALTH CARE VIRUS - Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.

MARTHA STEWART VIRUS - Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop.

NATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF WOMEN (NOW) VIRUS - Forces your PC to recognize its female connections as male connections.

NIKE VIRUS - Just does it.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS v 1.0 - Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

QUANTUM LIAP VIRUS - One day your PC is a laptop, the next day it is a Macintosh, then a Nintendo.

SHARON STONE VIRUS - Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.

STAR TREK VIRUS - Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

TIM ALLEN VIRUS - Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.

TOBACCO INDUSTRY VIRUS - It contends that there is no reliable scientific evidence that viruses can harm you computer or that it targets adolescent computer users.

X-FILES VIRUS - All your icons start shape-shifting.

Listed below are some older, lessor known viruses that still pose a threat:

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS v 1.0 - Thers sumthin rong wit yur kompueter, butt ewe jsut cant figyour out watt.

LEONA HELMSLEY VIRUS - Deletes files smaller than it is.

ROSS PEROT VIRUS v 1.0 - Runs for awhile, leaves the system, then re-appears, but with less effect.

ROSS PEROT VIRUS v 2.0 - Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.

ROSS PEROT VIRUS v 3.0 - After several years, the damage caused by this little virus is still unclear. It often displays impressive graphics which have little relevance to the users interests or needs.

WATERGATE VIRUS - Erases 18 minutes off your tape backup.

WILLIAM KENNEDY SMITH VIRUS - It strips your files, manipulates your data
and denies anything ever happened; and gets away with it

Courtesy of Bored.com Humor Site

No comments: