Funny Dialogues

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.

Psychiatrist: I'll deal with you later.

Patient: Everyone keeps ignoring me.Psychiatrist: Next please!

Sailor: I was shipwrecked, and lived on a can of sardines for a week.

Captain: My, weren't you afraid that you'd fall off?

Student: Could I get in trouble if I didn't do something?Teacher: Well, I don't suppose so. Student: In that case, I didn't do my homework.

Jim: What's white, steep, and has ears?Tara: I don't know.

Jim: A snow-covered mountain.

Tara: What about the ears?

Jim: Haven't you ever heard of mountaineers?

Camp Counselor: How did you get that horrible swelling on your nose?

Camper: I bent down to smell a brose.

Camp Counselor: There isn't a B in rose.

Camper: There was in this one!

Polly: Why are you eating nickels?

Molly: Because the teacher wants to see some change in me.

Patient: Doctor, I have a problem. I can't remember anything.

Doctor: How long have you had this problem?

Patient: What problem?

Ben: Did you hear about the new dance called the elevator?

Mike: I sure didn't! What's it like?

Ben: It has no steps!

Teacher: Joey, please use the word "wagon" in a sentence.

Joey: Ok, "If I told my dog to stop wagon his tail, he would still wag on."

Jake: I got an anonymous letter.

John: From whom?

Don: I didn't know our school was haunted.

Ron: Neither did I. How did you find out?

Don: Everybody's been talking about our school spirit.

Brent: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

Trent: How tall are you?

Customer: When I bought this cat, you told me he was good for mice. He doesn't go near them!Clerk: Well, isn't that good for mice?

Customer: Hi. I'm looking for a good buy.

Salesman: Oh. Ok. Goodbye.

Billy: Do you write with your right or left hand?

Joel: My left hand.

Billy: Wrong! You write with a pencil!

Joe: I was built backwards.

Mary: How?

Joe: My nose runs, and my feet smell!

Bobby: I've owned this car for 15 years and never had a wreck.

Prospective buyer: You mean you've owned this wreck for 15 years and never had a car.

Mary: Did you know they're not making pencils any longer?

Sue: Wow! Why not?

Mary: They're already long enough!

Sarah: Why were you late for your plane?

Jan: I had to say goodbye to my pets.

Sarah: But you were 2 hours late!

Jan: I have an ant farm!

George: Look, I just found a lost baseball.

Louis: How do you know it's lost?

George: Because the kids down the street are still looking for it!

Teacher: Say, you can't sleep in my class.

Student: I could if you didn't talk so loud.

Teacher: Chubb, who invented the airplane that did not fly?

Chubb: The Wrong Brothers.