Rules for Dog Owners (as suggested by their dogs!)

• I will not bathe my dog after he bathes himself in the mud puddle.
• I will not push my dog away when she wants a hug after playing in a mud puddle.
• I will not complain "My arm is tired" after only throwing the ball 20 times.
• I will not confuse my dog by throwing snowballs for him to fetch.
• I will not ask my dog to play fetch with a boomerang.
• I will not drag my dog away from the interesting sniffing spots.
• I will drop whatever I'm doing and take my dog out as soon as he asks me to.
• I will not tell my dog to hurry up already when he's looking for just the right spot to take care of business.
• I will not stare while my dog is doing his business.
• I will not feed the cat before I feed my dog.
• I will get rid of that cat.
• I will not bring home any more cats.
• I will never eat until my dog has tasted what I have and approved it for me.
• I will share everything I eat with my dog.
• I will set up the kiddie pool every day it's hot - even in December.
• I will not leave my dog at home any time I go in the car.
• I will allow my dog on the couch.
• I will not hide my dog's ball in a place where I know he couldn't possibly retrieve it from and then ask him to go get it.
• I will not take shredded, soggy, yummy tennis balls away from my dog.
• I will not sneak around the backyard wearing funny clothes to test whether my dog is a good watchdog.
• I will stop referring to my dog's necklace as her "collar."
• I will not cut my dog's nails.
• I will not abandon my dog for trivial reasons like "going to work".
• I will not wake my dog when I come home from work.
• I will not come home from work and feel the sofa to see if it is still warm from where my dog was sleeping "illegally".
• Bad weather is no excuse for not walking my dog.
• I will open the back door as soon as my dog sits by it.
• I will not laugh at my dog for being confused over not being able to find the lump of ice that he buried earlier.
• I will not run out of treats.
• I will always carry cookies and treats.
• I will not make my dog wear silly-looking antlers or red hats.
• I will not make my dog pose for pictures with some fat stranger in a red suit.
• I will not tie leftover ribbons and bows all over my dog.
• I will not use decorations like tinsel that could be dangerous to my dog.
• I will try much harder to understand my dog's language.