Dumb Questions

A stitch in time saves nine what?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? --Steven Wright

Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

Are there any unguided missiles?

Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?

Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?

Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?

Do fish get thirsty?

Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?

Do Scottish Terriers get Scotch Tape worms?

Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Ever notice how irons have a setting for "permanent" press? I don't get it. --Steven Wright

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

How can there be self-help "groups"?

How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

How did a fool and his money get together?

How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

How do they get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass?

How do you get off a nonstop flight?

How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?

How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?

How is it possible to run out of space?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?

If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? --Tom Robbins