I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.
Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
I went into a clothes store the other day and a salesman walked up to me and said, "Can I help you?" And I said "Yeah, do you got anything I like?" He said, "What do you mean do we have anything you like?" I said, "You started this."
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
Under my bed I have shoe box full of telephone rings. Whenever I get lonely I open it up just a bit and I get a call. One time I dropped the box all over the floor and the phone wouldn't stop ringing, so I had it disconnected. I bought a new phone though. I didn't have much money so I had to buy an irregular phone--it had no number 5 on it.
I saw a close friend of mine the other day... He said, "Steven, why haven't you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't know . . . My calendar has no sevens on it."
I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!
Last week I bought a new phone. I took it out of the box, hooked it up to the wall... Pressed redial. The phone had a nervous breakdown.
I bought a self-learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night.
One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams showed up on TVs all over the world.
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "right here, officer". Later, I parked it on the freeway, got out, and yelled at all the cars, "Get out of my driveway!"
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.
Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
I went into a clothes store the other day and a salesman walked up to me and said, "Can I help you?" And I said "Yeah, do you got anything I like?" He said, "What do you mean do we have anything you like?" I said, "You started this."
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
Under my bed I have shoe box full of telephone rings. Whenever I get lonely I open it up just a bit and I get a call. One time I dropped the box all over the floor and the phone wouldn't stop ringing, so I had it disconnected. I bought a new phone though. I didn't have much money so I had to buy an irregular phone--it had no number 5 on it.
I saw a close friend of mine the other day... He said, "Steven, why haven't you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't know . . . My calendar has no sevens on it."
I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!
Last week I bought a new phone. I took it out of the box, hooked it up to the wall... Pressed redial. The phone had a nervous breakdown.
I bought a self-learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night.
One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams showed up on TVs all over the world.
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "right here, officer". Later, I parked it on the freeway, got out, and yelled at all the cars, "Get out of my driveway!"
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
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