Monday, May 07, 2007

Crazy State Laws

• A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk. (Repealed)
• A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
• According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American".
• Chicago: Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire; It is illegal to give a dog whiskey; Kites may not be flown within the city limits; Spitting is forbidden
• Cicero: Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
• Crete: Cars may not be driven through the town.
• Des Plaines: Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
• Eureka: A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
• Evanston: Bowling is forbidden; It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween; It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
• Galesburg: There is a $1,000 dollar fine for hitting rats with baseball bats.
• Homer: It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.
• If the Rushville, Ill., city council doesn't have a quorum, those sent can have the cops go out and arrest absent members and bring them to the meeting.
• In Illinois it is illegal for barbers to use their fingers to apply shaving cream to a customer's face.
• In Illinois, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
• In Chicago it is also illegal to take a French poodle to the opera, and for women over 200 pounds (90 kilos) to ride horses in shorts.
• In Chicago, Illinois, it is illegal to fish in pajamas.
• It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.
• It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
• It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
• It's not clear what this has done to the bar business, but a law in Chicago, Ill., makes it illegal to serve liquor to the feeble-minded.
• Joliet: Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.
• Kenilworth: A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow; Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.
• Kirkland: Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland's streets.
• Moline: Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited; There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.
• Morton Grove: You may not own a handgun.
• Normal: It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
• Orland Park: No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.
• Ottawa: Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
• Park Ridge: Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
• Peoria: Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway.
• Pullman: It is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb; It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck;
• The people in Manteno, Ill., do not want used facial tissue, period. Hence, you cannot "throw, drop or place" a used hankie "upon any public way or public place or upon the floor of any convenience or upon the floor of any theater, hall or assembly or public building or upon the surface or any lot or parcel of ground or on the roof on any building or in any light or air shaft, court or areaway."
• Under a 1872 law still on the books, an alderman in Chicago can carry a gun. Some do.
• You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
• You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.
• "Dwarf-tossing," the strange practice of hurling dwarfs in padded suits, is outlawed in the bars of Springfield, Ill., because it's dangerous and exploitative. The practice is apparently allowed elsewhere in town, with a special permit.

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